google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: 2020-08-02

Saturday, 8 August 2020

The Male Guide to Female Communication

Okay, so this is a tough one to communicate period because there is no right or wrong answer to this and certainly no two females on the planet are exactly alike. Likewise, no couples are the same nor are the males trying to determine what weird and wonderful things fly through the female brain.

It is safe to say, though, that women do give off signals that are often missed or completely misinterpreted. For example, when we’re trying something on and we ask you what you think, we’d actually like you to give us an honest response. Not, ‘You look like a fat whale in that,’ kind of honest answer, but the sort that shows you’re actually trying to help us determine whether or not to buy and or wear the item of clothing in question. If we do happen to look like Moby Dick, it’s best to control your repulsed fascial features and simply say, ‘Hmm, I don’t think that’s the right choice, maybe try ... (offering an alternative here is gold).’

Not so complicated, right?

There are about a million other examples of where communication between men and women break down. Who does the housework and what percentage is fair? Did she just fake her orgasm? Maybe I shouldn’t have bought that boat with our life savings without consulting her first. She won’t notice if I start wearing her lingerie or that I left our kid in the school parking lot for three hours, will she?

Soooo many situations in which communication can break down. So, the question is, how can men better understand how to deal with the female psyche? Well, the truth from my perspective is that you’re completely fucked. Most of the time we have no idea what we want until we want it, so it’s virtually impossible. What I can say, though, is that better led communication comes from knowing the other person in the relationship. What makes them happy? What pisses them off? If you can find a way to read her body language before the shit hits the fan, you’re onto a winner.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I’m certainly no relationship expert. Six years later and my hubby still leaves the wet mat on the bathroom floor and throws his clothes next to the laundry basket instead of in it. He’s about a second off getting a crowbar to the face because that’s me communicating regularly with words regarding exactly what I want, but the truth is, he chooses not to listen. Thus, a male guide to female communication is a waste of time if you’re not willing to read the fine print.

We’re all gonna do what we want to do anyway, right?

Right.

Kristy šŸ˜€


Sunday, 2 August 2020

How to go from Overwhelmed to Motivated!



How to go from Overwhelmed to motivated? Well, this is a matter true to my heart right now and I implore you to stick with me on this as opposed to dialling child services.

My hubby and I recently had a little boy and although he is the light of our life, joy of the world, beacon of ... yeah, you get my point, right? We love him, but sometimes we debate about putting him in a cardboard box and posting him to Alaska.

I’m kidding of course, but when all he does is sleep through the day and stay up all night, it tends to grate on your sensibilities. So, as you can imagine (since I do the night shift), I can become incredibly overwhelmed at 2am. With little to no sleep in my pocket, looking down into the beady eyes of my wide awake infant forces me to find some sort of motivation not to glue his eyes shut. Yes, we expected this to happen. Babies can’t sleep all the time, right? I mean they have to poop at 4am and wee on your nightgown post shower or spew on you right as you put them down for that seemingly unattainable sleep, but come on ...

Being overwhelmed is part of the job description.

So how do you get motivated?

Well, you may think I might be motivated to push our son under the bed until morning in the hopes I can’t hear him under there, but on the contrary, I consider the ramifications. No, not child abuse allegations (although my headspace undoubtedly deserves it sometimes), but the ramifications of simply not being motivated enough to enjoy this moment of fleetingness. He won’t stay an infant forever. He will soon become a toddler and start sleeping through the night, then a young boy who picks his nose and sniffs his bum. Then of course he’ll be a teenager and I’ll probably want to kill him all over again.

The point is, motivation doesn’t have to be a gimmick or an affirmation to pull you through a task. It can simply be the idea that you’ll miss just one perfect moment amongst the clutter of imperfect ones – the reason I keep my eyes open at 2am ... just in case he smiles.

Kristy šŸ˜Š