google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: Hit or Miss?

Monday, 3 October 2011

Hit or Miss?

Not exactly the sort of toilet paper you
want to use, but at least it's rolling in the
right direction ...
I started a poll the other day on Facebook. I asked everyone what they think I should be blogging about this week. I received a lot of helpful suggestions, most of which were pretty ordinary discussion topics - undeserving of what I'm sure will be my completely biased weigh in. And, since I figured I couldn't blog for long about menial crap, I decided to do a bit of everything and let you weigh in at the end!
So let me get the toilet talk out of the way first (literally).
Suggestion 1 - Should the toilet paper be folded under or over?
Answer: Clearly it's over. Who wants to fumble in the dark with the toilet paper at two in the morning! It's like looking for the end of the sticky tape when you've got no fingernails - for Pete's sake just leave the damn thing where someone can find it!
Suggestion 2 - Toilet seat up or down?
Answer: Who cares? Let's be honest, women need to put it down to do their business and men need to put it up. So let's call it even and flip it whichever way it should go when you need to do your thing.

Suggestion 3 - Scruncher or Folder?
Answer: Although this is pretty personal, and the absolute last toilet question I will ever answer - I don't understand 'folders'. Why are you folding something your about to wipe across your butt? Besides, scrunching adds bulk. Enough said.
Suggestion 4 - Do you tell someone they've got @$%! on their face?
Answer: Not at first. Take your time, have an internal giggle and then kindly let them know there's a booger in their mustache. If you know them and they're a total douche bag, let them take it on a tour around town and lick it down for lunch later.
Suggestion 5 - Camel Toe?
Answer: Hell no. If you have it, get your hands in there and pull it out before you blind us all! Pull your shirt down or chuck on a thigh hugging sweater. Or better yet, buy pants with room for a party in the crotch! You won't feel like you're being strangled and I won't feel violated.

Okay, so I think that's it for now. If you come up with any more, let me know and I'll be happy to weigh in. Also, feel free to make comment on your ideas, and if they don't suck, I might actually publish them.
So roll to the front, leave the toilet seat alone, scrunch, wash your face and wear baggy pants.
Have a good one

Kristy :)

2 comments:

  1. How funny, you really did go there, you silly goose! Cute! xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Kristy...great blog...had me laughing! :)

    ReplyDelete

Yes! I absolutely love your comments, and, now that I have read through the blogger instructions and actually know how to answer them, we are all sweet - so please, write!