Shopping Nightmares

Well, I was at work today, finishing off a few things that needed to get done before I went home for the weekend. Naturally the fearful Saturday blog started looming in my mind.
What was I going to write about this week?
Thankfully, inspiration came from my mother who stopped by work for a quick hello and to check the internet for some recipes before heading off to the shops for some groceries. And then it hit me. Grocery shopping is packed full of lurking danger and inevitable mishaps.
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree that this is a snooze-fest subject, but I dare you to comment that you haven't at least been mugged by a four year old, felt up by a fruit and vegetable packer, mowed over by a pallet jack, or suffered an eye roll from a teenage register operator?
I have. Well, at the very least I know I now have a solid fear of shopping trolleys - big, solid steel constructions made with a front end bull bar designed specifically for pesky kids to ram up your ankles when you least expect it. Oh yes, I am a three time victim of shopping trolley abuse - I now look over my shoulder every five minutes while perusing the aisles! And, if I see a kid behind the wheel of one of these bad boys, I give them the death stare - a warning to keep their sticky fingers pointing that cart in the opposite direction.
My hubby freaks out at the check out. He used to work in a grocery store, so he leans back, folds his arms over his chest and silently stews while previously mentioned bored teen, throws eggs underneath canned goods, or washing powder in with meat. His eyes narrow and his forehead beads with anger driven moisture before he finally relents and packs the bags himself.
On the other hand, my mother is an addict (sorry mum, you know it). She feels at home at the mini mart, the market, or the grocery store. She even has a 'nanna' trolley she likes to push around and fill with useless crap she already has three of back home in the cupboard. She zips through the aisles with confidence, kicking small children and old age pensioners to the side as she madly dashes to the first available check out she finds. She snubs the bored teenager - the shoe on the other foot, and then heads home, eager to repeat the process again the very next day.
So what have we learned about shopping? Number one, shopping trolleys are for carting food, not doing wheelies. Two, slap the bored teenager in the face so they pay attention and pack your damn groceries properly. And three, limit your visits to once or twice a week, you don't want to run into a die-hard with her nanna bag in aisle three ...

Kristy :)