google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: 2019-06-23

Friday, 28 June 2019

Bullying is so declasse

Bullying is about repeated behaviour by someone who has power or control over someone else!

Power! Well, if you are going to allow someone to have a negative influence over the way you think, feel or behave, then you are giving them power over your life. The most important thing that I personally feel is that you need to set boundaries. To understand this, let us apply the old adage ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ yes, this normally applies to relationships; however, familiarity is just that---someone who has a deep knowledge about ourselves. We could therefore make sure that a) you don’t allow someone to get to physically close b) don’t discuss everything of a personal nature about yourself and c) make sure you protect yourself emotionally i.e. try not to express how you are feeling.

There are so many types of bullying and the types of bullying that happens is not just confined to a kids playground, it happens all the time with adults as well. Physical bullying – intentional bumping, hitting, spitting etc. Body language – gestures and dirty looks. Verbal bullying, probably one of the worst as it can damage our inner child badly – teasing, name calling, telling stores that are not correct. I could go on citing many more examples, sadly there are numerous.

The bullied have the power to stop the cycle!

It has been my experience that most bullies have been bullied themselves, they may have watched family members being bullied, a learned skill. In addition, I believe that most times that bullying occurs is usually when no one is around who may be able to help, or a ‘perceived popular individual’ may have picked on you and therefore accepted by their peers. It is tough, emotionally heartbreaking and painful and very embarrassing.

However, we cannot and do not know what a bully is experiencing. Are they struggling, are they having a hard time at home, at school or work. It is time to break the cycle, tap into empathy and compassion, and shatter this seed of torment of what is happening in our society.

If you are the victim, be as strong as you can, be brave, help others by breaking the cycle, have the strength to walk away with your head held high – you will become a prime example of not accepting the term bullying and in the process, you may just help the bullier.

I speak from experience as do a number of readers. I was bullied at school; however, the most difficult thing I did was to forgive. Nevertheless, it enabled me to take back the power I gave away in the first place.