Hit or Miss?

Not exactly the sort of toilet paper you
want to use, but at least it's rolling in the
right direction ...

I started a poll the other day on Facebook. I asked everyone what they think I should be blogging about this week. I received a lot of helpful suggestions, most of which were pretty ordinary discussion topics - undeserving of what I'm sure will be my completely biased weigh in. And, since I figured I couldn't blog for long about menial crap, I decided to do a bit of everything and let you weigh in at the end!
So let me get the toilet talk out of the way first (literally).
Suggestion 1 - Should the toilet paper be folded under or over?
Answer: Clearly it's over. Who wants to fumble in the dark with the toilet paper at two in the morning! It's like looking for the end of the sticky tape when you've got no fingernails - for Pete's sake just leave the damn thing where someone can find it!
Suggestion 2 - Toilet seat up or down?
Answer: Who cares? Let's be honest, women need to put it down to do their business and men need to put it up. So let's call it even and flip it whichever way it should go when you need to do your thing.

Suggestion 3 - Scruncher or Folder?

Answer: Although this is pretty personal, and the absolute last toilet question I will ever answer - I don't understand 'folders'. Why are you folding something your about to wipe across your butt? Besides, scrunching adds bulk. Enough said.
Suggestion 4 - Do you tell someone they've got @$%! on their face?
Answer: Not at first. Take your time, have an internal giggle and then kindly let them know there's a booger in their mustache. If you know them and they're a total douche bag, let them take it on a tour around town and lick it down for lunch later.

Suggestion 5 - Camel Toe?
Answer: Hell no. If you have it, get your hands in there and pull it out before you blind us all! Pull your shirt down or chuck on a thigh hugging sweater. Or better yet, buy pants with room for a party in the crotch! You won't feel like you're being strangled and I won't feel violated.

Okay, so I think that's it for now. If you come up with any more, let me know and I'll be happy to weigh in. Also, feel free to make comment on your ideas, and if they don't suck, I might actually publish them.
So roll to the front, leave the toilet seat alone, scrunch, wash your face and wear baggy pants.
Have a good one

Kristy :)

Follow Friday!

Follow Friday is an initiative to unite book bloggers and readers globally. Please follow and share the love


with the long list of participants on parajunkee.com and alisoncanread.com


Don't forget to leave comments on my post so I know to start following you back!

Making videos

What a fun couple of weeks I've had! The release of my book "The Hunted" has sent me on a completely unexpected journey that's turned my life entirely upside down!
I remember when I was secretly tapping away at the keyboard at night, my love of writing a complete secret from friends and family. I used to get up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, kiss my husband occasionally and somehow find time to indulge in this secret pastime. Now I barely have time to ... ahh ... wash the car.
Between, promotion, blogging, inciting interviews and publicity, steering clear of highly addictive technological black holes like Facebook and Twitter, well, it's a wonder dust hasn't started collecting on my manuscripts!
Anyway, these last few weeks have been interesting. I've met a lot of lovely people internationally and locally. I've joined book clubs and even entered a supernatural smackdown (I'll explain another day). But I was also told that making a 'Book Trailer' was a must for any new release titles. Okay, so now armed with this new bit of information I thought to myself, 'What the hell is a book trailer?'.
It might just be an Aussie thing, but I associate trailers with movies, not with books. I was under the impression that that was what the cover design and synopsis was designed for - drawing in readers. Needless to say I investigated this idea, cruising YouTube at great length only to discover that, yes, apparently books need moving pictures to sell them these days.
So off I went.
Now I have one. It took about three weeks, a lot of patience from my co-producer Peter Jackson, the famous director (Kidding, but he is famous for other things), and a lot of late nights. So, without further a due, check out our handiwork and leave a comment. Or don't if you're going to say something nasty. I don't have the time to edit them out anymore!

Kristy :)
You Tube Link: http://youtu.be/cUCQJ_49WfE

Getting Older

Some of you have already read the title and gone, 'What the hell is she talking about? Getting older, the girl's only just shy of thirty!'. Well, I'm not complaining about me getting older, though I am noticing my knees don't like me so much in the morning anymore, I'm talking about some of the weird idiosyncrasies that seem to be paired with the age slide.
I've noticed a few of these things over the last few years at my job as a receptionist, and it scares the crap out of me that I may provoke eye rolling from the up and coming youth. Or worse still, reserve a bed in the sanitarium for recounting my crazed tendencies as a youth and forgetting the punchline 'But I didn't really kill that guy that ran up the back of my ankles with a shopping cart'.
It's all about the details.
Anyway, besides the obvious ailments, it's the weird backwards slide of common sense that has me wondering about the grand master plan of aging. Yes, it's a necessity, and yes it's completely inevitable, but at which point do you become that person you duck around a corner and hide from when you see them coming?
Here's what bothers me at present;
Number one - Hearing issues. This is an understandable drawback of the aging process, and I sympathise, but why on earth does that mean you have to yell at me? I can hear you just fine (for now). Unless of course this is where it all stems from? Were they once yelled at across the counter of their workplace, irritated that they heard a muttering of 'grumpy old bastard' just fine, but didn't hear a word about the bill? Is it possible this selective hearing is a vicious circle of the elderly yelling at the young and inadvertently damaging generation after generation of eardrums?
Food for thought.
Number two - Crazy Stories. I am positive that I am a magnet for these. I have heard about Aunt Rhona's bum rash, cousin Mary's long lost dog and even the 'pink eye' Uncle Walter got from his cat consistently farting on his pillow. I even had a guy smile at me the other day, shake a brown paper bag in front of my face and tell me he needed to pee in a cup. I was happy for him, but at a loss as to how I was supposed to roll with that conversation. Needless to say, I do not want to scare people with my obscure stories of the past or toilet habits of the present!
Number three - Driving! Just because things are slowing down, doesn't mean your car has to. The accelerator still likes to do sixty in a sixty zone, and it really enjoys keeping up with the traffic. And to those of you in three wheeler's, don't be afraid to execute something less than a twenty point turn. Reverse beeping is annoying after twenty minutes of listening to it.
Right. Well, there are more, but I'm starting to think I might be getting a little too excited about this subject and I don't want to offend. I have a great deal of respect for the elderly and their contribution to society, I guess I just keep meeting the petrol sniffers of the twenties and thirties. Perhaps I need to get out more.
More food for thought.

Kristy :)

Book Review: Passion by Lauren Kate

Passion is the third installment in Lauren Kate's Fallen Novel collection. I started reading this series as the idea of soul mates connected through an endless amount of time really drew me in. Perhaps this is because I focus on something similar in my own novels and was curious about another author's interpretation of the soul and its unknowns.
Passion is a little difficult to understand without reading the prior two novels 'Fallen' and 'Torment'. That's not to say the story is heavy, simply that there's a lot of background information needed to truly appreciate the direction this clever little story is heading.
Lucinda, or Luce as she's commonly referred to throughout the story is on a journey to unlock the secrets of her soulful connection to the fallen angel Daniel. Fighting against time, she opens pathways into her past, diving into the depths of the love tragically cut short between her and Daniel in every life, fighting to discover the key to break this seemingly unending curse. Never fully having a chance to appreciate the love they share, she is determined to discover the truth of their bond, understand the connection, and unravel the mystery of where it all goes wrong.
The author takes us on a clearly researched journey of the past, ducking and weaving the many integral characters through time, exploring and describing scenes with absolute clarity. The descriptive content was fantastic and what kept me turning the pages when there was little plot development to get the reader to start thinking for themselves.
The highlight of the book for me was the chapter exploring the rift between heaven and hell, the fall of the angels and the beginning of Lucifer's reign. So often we see and read about the aftermath, but so little do we get a descriptive passage detailing the decision that led to this point. I know it is only from the writer's perspective, but after so much detail of the past and the clear definition of characters and choices, it was easy to believe the scene laid out before me.
I enjoyed this book's clever writing and descriptive content, but wouldn't necessarily recommend the read without checking out the prior two novels. What I didn't enjoy (and this is only a personal opinion) was the lack of growth in the story. It was similar to reading about some very long dream that the main character finally wakes up from, finding themselves back where they started and only marginally educated for it. But apart from that, Lauren Kate is extremely talented and has challenged me to step up to the plate and pursue my own soulful endeavours!
Wish me luck and I'll keep you posted!

Kristy :)