google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: Things that go bump!

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Things that go bump!

So, this is a rather quick mid-week entry from me, but as per usual, I've found something to say. Today it's about the things that go bump, not necessarily in the night, but when you least bloody expect it!
In Australia we are unfortunately plagued with all sorts of disgusting creatures you wish you could fumigate or slap under the heavy handed thud of your other half's shoe (Never your own shoes, too gross to scrape off later).
We have poisonous snakes, spiders, creepy looking locust things and lizards that tend to keep out of your way unless you go wandering into the bush. But the rest of the Ickies think it's their God given right to take up residence within the home!
So my story starts with a fear of cockroaches. Now, they freak me out so badly that I'm not even going to post a picture of one in fear that I may hack and spit. Roughly the size of a dining room table (or so it seems when your running flat out in the other direction), they come after you without remorse. Those little bastards will literally scurry as fast as their filthy little legs will take them, honing in on me like sonar as I run screaming and helpless. This is all well and good if hubby is there to hunt them down, but when I'm alone???
Yeah, you've got me pegged. I find the highest point in the room, balance on my toes and keep my eyes on that little sucker until I muster up the courage to throw something at it.
Then of course you've got the things that fly. The reason this story came to me was because I was accosted by such a creature on my way to the car this morning. There I am, innocently checking my mailbox when I hear a buzz in my ear, thunderously loud and close enough that I ducked, expecting a swarm of killer bees.
The noise stopped, I uncovered my head with my hands and went back to fishing out my mail. But then, the stir of air, the flutter of an exoskeletal wing set and the buzzing was back!
Rhino Beetle
Screaming I ran for the house, flailing my arms around me wildly and praying it didn't fly as fast as I ran. I could see it now, it's disgusting black body keeping pace and tormenting me with it's weird little horn. Thankfully I made it, the Rhino beetle but mere inches from me as it slammed into the closing door.
It was in that moment that I realised that there are some things that God seriously f#%@!ed up on creation day. One of them was cucumbers, and the other thing was useless creepy bugs trying to take the piss out of me. So, yes, I may be a total girl when it comes to the weird little creepy crawlies, but seriously, do they have a genuine purpose? Do we really need a hissing rhino beetle, crickets that chew through your veggie patch and caterpillars that give you hives?
My answer is no. Everyone, please feel free to weigh in, everyone that is except for biologists and entomologists - we don't need positive affirmations from the bug lovers.

Kristy :)

1 comment:

  1. Living in Ontario Canada I am besieged by mosquitoes. Usually the mosquitoes die off in July and August with the onset of high temperatures. Not this summer though. It was cool and the mosquitoes managed to stay till mid October. Almost every night I would have one buzzing in my room keeping me up. Could we do without them, unfortunately not. Areas that have been heavley sprayed to control them ended up having a side effect. No mosquitoes meant less frogs. I'll live with pesky vampires but if they end up in my path I will give them a good swat.


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