google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: In My Mailbox ... Whatever

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

In My Mailbox ... Whatever

As you all know I'm relatively new to the blogging community. I mostly started so I could promote myself as a writer, but of course now this once a week foray into cyberspace has grown into an unstoppable force! People actually want to read the crap that spews forth from my mouth - You know ... My third leg, battle with bugs, my issues with not impacting my head on every solid object in sight and of course, my ongoing battle with Cindy Crawford (which by the way, I'm totally winning).
So for that alone, you guys are awesome for not cutting loose or rolling your eyes. Especially when I make it clear that today's post is the 'I'm crazy jealous of your freaking mailbox' post.
Are you still with me?
Good, because I've recently become aware of this semi regular posting on other book reviewers and writer's blogs known as 'In My Mailbox'. Generally it has a picture of the mountain of books these lucky people have received in the mail to review from publishing houses, authors and agents. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?
Well, here's a picture of my mailbox.

See? That's what sweet f@#*k all looks like. 

So, in light of the fact that in the foreseeable future my mailbox will probably continue to look like a moldy shoe box filled with biting ants and mystery sand, I thought I'd feature what I wish was in my mailbox. Albeit not everything is going to fit. But let's pretend it makes perfect sense - Like a fat man in a red suit sliding down billions of chimneys every Christmas eve and never once having to call emergency services ... hmmm.

Okay, in my mailbox I would really like;
1. Alcide Herveaux from True Blood - Number one, he's totally delicious. Number two, delicious things are meant to be eaten. Number three, I'm hungry now.
2. An Audi R8 - What can I say? I like pretty cars and that is a very pretty car.
3. An exotic holiday - Now when I say exotic, I don't mean dump me in the jungle where I get Mange or Dengue fever. I'm talking about somewhere secluded, somewhere balmy ... somewhere Alcide feels comfortable without pants.
4. Fat free, non diarrhea inducing chocolate - Yes, I'm aware that such a thing is tantamount to finding the Holy Grail, but I'd really like it. Especially now that I'm hungry, have a pant-less Alcide swinging on a hammock, beckoning me with the promise of no calorie complications.
5. Well, how about a new mailbox? You've seen it, you know what I'm talking about ...

Anyway, I shall continue to seethe with jealousy when I witness these posts, hoping and praying that one day Santa does get his butt stuck in my chimney, owing me big time when I winch him free. I don't expect I'll ever get Alcide from the back of his sleigh, but I'd totally settle for the fat free chocolate and a cardboard cut out if the elves can't pull something off.
Have a good one everyone,

Kristy ;)


  1. hehe I've seen those posts. I feel the say way. LOL You're so funny. I love it! DeAnna

  2. lol...what a crack up. Maybe the post person got confused with the address. Is it possible that the offer of a movie went to your address via Austria, rather than Australia?????? Just saying!

  3. OMG!! You crack me up! :) :) So true!!

  4. Would a life-size Alcide cut-out, a matchbox Audi, a Bora Bora pamphlet, and a box of red Lindt balls suffice?
    No, probably not (well, maybe the Lindt balls might, but anyway...)
    My advice? Build a bigger letter box.
    P.S. Love ya work, Berridge. You crack me up! :D


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