Have you ever noticed how often people seem to be in a hurry? Hurrying to get on the train, hurrying to be the first to pick a seat in the cinema or kicking kids in the shins to make it to the head of the toilet cue.

Okay, so the last example was me since this is a serious issue in cold weather. I literally cannot go more than thirty minutes without urinary relief in cold climates ...

Anyway, people in a hurry. It happens everywhere with every race in most circumstances and is easily avoidable if you're not prone to temper tantrums or bladder problems.

The first is aeroplanes; take a chill pill people. No need to push and shove to get on board, that stinky bastard who pushed in front of you at the coffee shop will be waiting in aisle 6C regardless. So, you might as well wait, eat an onion sandwhich and fart like a geriatric when finally seated next to them. You'll feel better in more ways than one.

The second is Football games; calm down and buy that uncapped beer. Drink until your stomach hurts and then spew on that asshole who bought the last supporter t-shirt sitting directly in front of you. They're going to hate that new vomit-covered t-shirt now, but you'll feel better and ready for more ale.

The third is shopping centre carparks; it's okay if you didn’t get to ram that obnoxious teen listening to deafening techno while parking sideways in two bays, there's always the parent's park or handicapped zones.

Too far? Okay, well the point is that how you perceive a situation greatly impacts on your experience of it. You can choose the method of acceptance or you can channel karma and hope you don't get swept up in the resultant swing of your own poor behaviour.

I personally opt for the fifty-fifty arrangement by where half the time I smile politely and allow people to walk all over me and the other fifty percent of the time I'm physically abusing anyone who gets in my way in a toilet cue.

This bladder waits for nobody!