In the
past I have written numerous blogs regarding my dalliances with children and
the effects they've had on me over the years and to be fair, my opinions have
altered slightly. These tiny creatures of see-sawing emotion both terrify me
and sometimes thrill me.
Since
I've been in the UK I have been surrounded by the little tykes thanks to The
Cockney's ever-expanding family; today was no different.
A
jam-packed morning in London followed by a botched high tea saw me crossing
paths with a toddler running through a plethora of emotions ranging from anger
to happiness, hunger to bloated mess and satisfaction to unsettled.
Laughing
or sympathising only bore horrifying results and thus it ended up being safer
simply to pretend the child didn't exist which of course came quite naturally
to me.
Phase
one: Hunger.
Phase
two: Satisfaction - I would be too after eating all the leftover cakes the
vegan (me) couldn't eat at the high tea.
Phase
three: Anger - a sibling stole the two cent yoyo that he might have played with
once or twice since his inception.
Phase
four: Satisfaction again - mummy made it all better again with a few choice
words directed at the older sibling. Bi-product? Little one gets his yoyo back
but now doesn't have the foggiest what to do with it.
Phase
five: Hunger.
Phase
six: Anger - mum said no to more pointless gobbling.
Phase
seven: Nuclear Meltdown - he ran into a street pole and everyone laughed.
I had to respect
this little demon for always being honest about what he was thinking or
feeling. Although comparative to split personality disorder, I couldn't help
but notice that as adults we hide over half of these emotions from those around
us to appear 'normal' and that is a terrible shame. Imagine how much more
interesting life would be if everyone said exactly what they meant.
Needless
to say, although I did develop a fondness for this child with whiplash
emotions, my ovaries still protest at the very thought of reproduction. I
strongly believe that these misunderstood creatures are not properly researched
or packaged before delivery. Every child should come with a set of instructions
and warning labels, but in my case, a receipt so you can return it if you find
it's faulty.
Kristy ;)
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