Monogamy becomes Monotonous?

When you become a couple; ergo, your single status is annihilated and you’re suddenly inhaling each other’s poo particles in the bathroom each morning, it’s amazing how quickly the mystery you’d worked so hard at maintaining is tossed aside in lieu of comfortability.

It begins with gas emissions. First these were simply a strange concept neither of you discussed nor indulged, but once in the comfort zone, many partners feel this is the green light to explore warming the bed sheets or easing the burden of a rather large meal by ‘tooting’ their appreciation.

Suddenly everyone’s burping, farting and regularly leaving the toilet bowl desecrated. There’s no more mid-week bonks on the kitchen bench and clipping fingernails becomes an afterthought. Do I even mention the weight gain and decidedly lacklustre attempt to brush one’s hair on the weekend?

I personally HATE this trend towards laziness, because that’s exactly what it is … laziness. When did it become okay not to respect your partner’s vested interest in you? When is it okay for a woman to stop dressing to impress or a man to release all bodily functions? I for one vote to always keep the mystery, attempt to re-claim romance regularly and to maintain a high standard of hygiene, otherwise what’s the point of monogamy if suddenly it becomes monotonous?

Just my view …

Kristy J