google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: Head Case

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Head Case

Well, I'm going to keep this short and sweet today, mainly because I'm positive I'm suffering from some kind of brain damage. No I wasn't wrestling a sumo or taking on a semi trailer, I'm simply a freaking idiot with a sorry case of coordination.
I'm calling myself a head case. Not that crazy old lady that talks to her invisible cats, or your weirdo neighbour who strokes his V8 engine and calls his car 'princess'. I'm talking about self inflicted assault. Yes, my name is Kristy Berridge and I walk head first into every situation - literally.
This blog has come about because of my husband's consistent teasing. Yesterday, when I slammed my forehead into the side of the printer trying to unplug my mobile from the charger, he lost it. He was clutching his stomach and roaring with laughter as I rubbed my forehead feeling pretty damn sorry for myself. Ironically, he always asks if I'm alright, but clearly the answer is no - I'm partially concussed.
So, because of said injury, I started to think of all the other places I'd hit my head in the past, coming up with quite a hefty list that my neurologist would gasp at if I had one.
So here they are, and not necessarily in any particular order;
1. Front door and back door - both on glass slider and fly screens.
2. Car and boot, numerous occasions and often while I'm still climbing into the car.
3. The dryer and the washing machine, also the cupboard above the washing machine.
4. The bathroom cupboard - every time I put the towels away.
5. The power box while I was painting it.
6. Edge of the bathtub.
7. The oven door - damn chicken dinner!
8. The ironing board, thankfully not while the iron was on it.
9. The dining room table.
10. The toilet seat - don't ask.
11. Public transport.
12. Other people.
13. My laptop, was due to extreme sleepiness and did not intend to face plant the keypad.
14. The overhead fan
15. The refrigerator and freezer doors. I was not binge eating at the time, just super excited.
Look, truthfully, there are so many more that it's embarrassing. I have no idea how I'm still alive, but I suspect it's to amuse my husband. If there is something in the world I can hit my head on, I will find it. So, with that being said, I'd like some reader response. Why don't you tell me what you always do that makes you feels like a total cluster f@#k?
Have a good one

Kristy :)

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