google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: Alien in my Belly

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Alien in my Belly

So as you already know, I'm on a massive fitness kick at the moment and I've managed to rope in buddies to keep the process fun and promote success. One of those buddies is my dad, his enthusiasm for weight loss and body toning only equal to that of my own. We've been training four days a week, calorie counting, and pushing each other to achieve.
Anyway, last night we were fitting in some last chance training due to dad's weigh-in and measurement day today (success all round by the way). We were working through an abdominal session and that's when we noticed the alien. 
We had a moment, thought about calling in Sigourney Weaver to bust a cap in its ass but how can you kill it if it hasn't reared it's ugly head yet?
During a roll up crunch pushing a pretty impressive weight of 45kg's, I noticed my dad's stomach had a spine. When I pointed this out to him, he casually informed me that he had an alien in his belly. So, whether it turns out to be fact, fiction, medical condition, or some weird-ass muscle, we all have something weird and unexplained. 
For one, when I finish my workout and take my shoes off, veins practically explode from the top of feet like bloody octopus tentacles. I often look at them and wonder if I could launch off the end of a jetty and start an undersea adventure - my own inbuilt pulsing flippers. My fingers also bend like bananas, my belly button frowns at me, and I sweat mostly from my kneecaps. Yes, I actually have to wipe those bad boys down with a towel so my socks don't get wet. It's insane.
So alas we all have alien's inside of us, and if not, please don't tell me that you're perfect because I don't want to know that my family are the only bearers of the freak flag. But, if you have ears like an elf, a nose like Pinocchio, or an ass like J-Lo, let me know. I can't be the only one out there with octopus feet.

Kristy :)

1 comment:

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