The Week to Date ...

Well, another week down, and what an interesting one it has been! First off, after my Jazz session last Friday night (a blog I'm sure you've already read, but if not, click this link), I had a nice dinner with my parents on Sunday. Nothing especially unusual about that - dinner at the night markets, Baskin Robbins for dessert, but I must admit I wasn't prepared for the late night entertainment - getting shit on by a bat!
Yes, you heard me. Of all the air space in existence, one lowly, flea infested bat had to fly overhead and poop on my recently washed hair. Some say that's good luck, usually the people laughing and passing you a tissue, but I suspect it might have been karma for chickening out on getting a tattoo about a half hour earlier.
Enter Wednesday's events and it was shaping up to be, pardon the pun - a shitty week. I went for an endoscopy - a small scope feeding through my esophagus to look for aliens.
Kidding.
The doctor said I was a pain in the ass, of course delivered with a few more medical terms thrown in and without the word 'ass' in the sentence.  My throat apparently closed over and they had to force it through, taking three biopsies while they were at it. And despite my colourful and very vivid dream of Gerard Butler's abdominals, I woke up feeling like someone had shoved the garden hose down my throat and punched me in the guts.

Yay for Wednesday!
Thursday and Friday proved relatively uneventful, but I had Saturday night to look forward to - dinner at this hippie place my friend swore would be a good time. You know me, despite my hobbit tendencies, I'll always try something new.
Alas, despite warning that I would undoubtedly have front row seats to an abundance of breastfeeding, dreadlocks and the smell of unwashed armpit, I wanted to go. I was curious about the challenge my friend had issued to one and all - eating the 'Wicked Wings of Death'! Oh yes, I'm talking seriously spicy chicken that will literally make you curl up in a ball, cry and beg for your mama!
So clearly I'm a pussy. I have a reflux issue so I wasn't going near those spicy bastards with a ten foot pole after my Wednesday abuse, but I kinda expected my talk-it-up brother who once ate one of the hottest Mexican Chilli's for a dare to undertake the challenge. I suspect lingering memories of mouth ulcers and belly bloat bloat from over consumption of milk inspired him to pike out and order a counter meal instead.
Needless to say, I'm disappointed that I saw no crying, no bleeding gums, and by nine o'clock had to listen to some woman think she was 'crazy', though I suspected this was merely a bad rendition of Gnarls Barkley's greatest hit. I'm still not sure, maybe it was the watered down drinks or resonance in the microphone.
Anyway, can't wait to see what happens next weekend.
Have a good one,

Kristy :)

TV vs Movies

TV vs Movies. Simple right? Naturally it has to be the movies - large screen, confectionery, and stupid-ass teenagers you can peg in the back of the head with Jaffers. There's also the long lines, toilet stalls with pee on the floor, and the dickhead behind you that won't switch off his mobile phone. Hmmm, perhaps the movies aren't all they're cracked up to be?
You see, this blog came about today because my friends and I often pay twenty dollars a pop to have these above mentioned experiences. Then naturally, we have a chat about what we've seen, what's to come, what we liked, and who we can sue for making us watch the drivel just played out on screen. But then it occurred to me that recently I've been hibernating, digging my backside into the plush cushions of my sofa and settling in for a good night of TV viewing vs going to the movies.

I mean really, what have we had to look forward to recently? Another Pixar film starring a chick with crazy hair. Ooh, wait, there's like, what, the tenth bloody Batman movie to scoff at, and for some reason, Spiderman keeps coming back to bite everyone in the ass. Did I mention that we've obviously run out of ideas so we're remaking fairy tales?
Sarcasm aside, I've decided that a night at the movies is a waste of your over-priced popcorn and partially melted milk-duds, especially in light of the fact that there are so many fantastic shows on at the moment. Sure, they might not be everyone's cup of tea, but at least there's a story line, a complexity of characters, and at least one heart throb you wish you could throw up against a wall and ... yeah ...
So, what's rocking my TV viewing lately?
1. True Blood - You just can't go past a show overflowing with vampires, werewolves, witches and a crazy amount of unnecessary sex and exploding bodies.
2. The Walking Dead - The zombie apocalypse. Need I say more? Yokels with shotguns and lots and lots of cannabalism!
3. Falling Skies - Science fiction at it's best and we know it's going to rock because it's full of spider aliens and Lego robots. Did I mention directed by Steven Spielberg?
4. Game of Thrones - Medieval magic! Oh, and it's littered with a hefty amount of sex, violence, incest and a whole lot of sword play?
Needless to say, TV is rocking my world at the moment. Let me know if you feel the same way, or better yet, that you've found another great show to sink your teeth into, or a movie worth peeling myself off the couch for.
Have a good one,

Kristy :)

Alien in my Belly

So as you already know, I'm on a massive fitness kick at the moment and I've managed to rope in buddies to keep the process fun and promote success. One of those buddies is my dad, his enthusiasm for weight loss and body toning only equal to that of my own. We've been training four days a week, calorie counting, and pushing each other to achieve.

Anyway, last night we were fitting in some last chance training due to dad's weigh-in and measurement day today (success all round by the way). We were working through an abdominal session and that's when we noticed the alien. 

We had a moment, thought about calling in Sigourney Weaver to bust a cap in its ass but how can you kill it if it hasn't reared it's ugly head yet?

Confused?

During a roll up crunch pushing a pretty impressive weight of 45kg's, I noticed my dad's stomach had a spine. When I pointed this out to him, he casually informed me that he had an alien in his belly. So, whether it turns out to be fact, fiction, medical condition, or some weird-ass muscle, we all have something weird and unexplained. 

For one, when I finish my workout and take my shoes off, veins practically explode from the top of feet like bloody octopus tentacles. I often look at them and wonder if I could launch off the end of a jetty and start an undersea adventure - my own inbuilt pulsing flippers. My fingers also bend like bananas, my belly button frowns at me, and I sweat mostly from my kneecaps. Yes, I actually have to wipe those bad boys down with a towel so my socks don't get wet. It's insane.

So alas we all have alien's inside of us, and if not, please don't tell me that you're perfect because I don't want to know that my family are the only bearers of the freak flag. But, if you have ears like an elf, a nose like Pinocchio, or an ass like J-Lo, let me know. I can't be the only one out there with octopus feet.

Kristy :)