Yes, I sound like a disgruntled council worker, but truly, on a Saturday, sometimes I'm brain dead and really have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for a decent read for you all. Alas, today is no different. My rather uneventful life has thrown yet another mediocre week at me that I feel obliged not to bore you with. So, in light of the fact that I am truly uninspiring this week, I thought I'd post about a friend who consistently makes me laugh with her urban tales of foreign room mates, and her unashamed deluge into foot and mouth disease.
So Danger Mouse has a way with words, sentences recently erupting from her mouth like; 'I'd slaughter an orphan for parents like yours', and 'I'll give you five cents to saw my foot off'. Although, nothing quite beats, 'Agh, my cat scratched my palm and now I look like the Easter Jesus'.
Other stimulating conversations with outsiders have included:
Stranger: 'You should have seen my son when he was born. He was two pounds nothing with long legs like a frog.'
Danger Mouse: 'So did you take lots of photos of him among shrubbery?'. *deftly shows how small baby could have hidden in dense foliage with long spindly legs*
Stranger: *laughs politely, looking for exit*
Danger mouse has also informed a gay man that 'no sucking is allowed', scared the crap out of her boss by hiding in storage cupboards and screaming 'boo' in an effort to see how quickly she can cause angina, and I hear, confused someone who has narcolepsy with a necrophiliac.
Um ... yeah.
I love Danger Mouse. She is a petite showstopper with a seemingly endless stream of irrational thought and an honest to God deranged sense of humour. I'm not sure how I'd cope Monday mornings without her. Thanks, Danger Mouse - for giving me a Saturday blog I can reflect on, knowing there's an excellent chance you might kill me next time I see you in some weird and wonderfully "Dangerous" way.
Happy Saturday all,
Kristy :)
My first smile for the day. I enjoyed it!
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