google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: 2019

Saturday 13 July 2019

Extend Yourself to Others


Watch the news, read about the latest terrorist attacks and political shit storm and you start to think do I really want to know these things? It is distressing.


Would I rather bury my head in the sand and hope it goes away? It would be simpler, or is it?

So many of us live these sheltered lives, ‘the proverbial bubble of safeness.’ We are able to see out, secure in our dome of reasoning and self-righteousness.

Living in our own little realm is not going to make all that is happening in the world simply disappear; in fact distancing ourselves can create more problems.

So instead of focussing upon the negatives of our society and keeping ourselves insular from everyone else, let us start small….help those around you.  It might be something as simple as opening a door for a stranger to actively listening when someone is in pain and needs a friend who will stop and pay attention.

Being kind and caring towards others can be contagious and may quickly inspire those around us to do the same. Sometimes it comes down to us! If we do not as individuals, step forward and set in motion the kindness towards others, then who will. Let us create a ripple and watch it swell into waves of benevolence.

“How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment.  We can start now, start slowly, changing the world. How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make a contribution toward introducing justice straightway. And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!” Anne Frank

Stephanie




Friday 28 June 2019

Bullying is so declasse


Bullying is about repeated behaviour by someone who has power or control over someone else!

Power! Well, if you are going to allow someone to have a negative influence over the way you think, feel or behave, then you are giving them power over your life. The most important thing that I personally feel is that you need to set boundaries. To understand this, let us apply the old adage ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ yes, this normally applies to relationships; however, familiarity is just that---someone who has a deep knowledge about ourselves. We could therefore make sure that a) you don’t allow someone to get to physically close b) don’t discuss everything of a personal nature about yourself and c) make sure you protect yourself emotionally i.e. try not to express how you are feeling.

There are so many types of bullying and the types of bullying that happens is not just confined to a kids playground, it happens all the time with adults as well. Physical bullying – intentional bumping, hitting, spitting etc. Body language – gestures and dirty looks. Verbal bullying, probably one of the worst as it can damage our inner child badly – teasing, name calling, telling stores that are not correct. I could go on citing many more examples, sadly there are numerous.

The bullied have the power to stop the cycle!

It has been my experience that most bullies have been bullied themselves, they may have watched family members being bullied, a learned skill. In addition, I believe that most times that bullying occurs is usually when no one is around who may be able to help, or a ‘perceived popular individual’ may have picked on you and therefore accepted by their peers. It is tough, emotionally heartbreaking and painful and very embarrassing.

However, we cannot and do not know what a bully is experiencing. Are they struggling, are they having a hard time at home, at school or work. It is time to break the cycle, tap into empathy and compassion, and shatter this seed of torment of what is happening in our society.

If you are the victim, be as strong as you can, be brave, help others by breaking the cycle, have the strength to walk away with your head held high – you will become a prime example of not accepting the term bullying and in the process, you may just help the bullier.

I speak from experience as do a number of readers. I was bullied at school; however, the most difficult thing I did was to forgive. Nevertheless, it enabled me to take back the power I gave away in the first place.

Stephanie

Thursday 6 June 2019

When the Light Begins to Fade...



Why is it we have to go through pain in order to learn anything? Why is it that when we learn something from anguish, we have to learn something else to justify what we have just learned?

Losing a loved one or having a horrible fight can give you pain, terrible pain. Some say that this pain or heartache if you like is real, crippling, and intense; it can make you lose your breath. Such physical pain that you feel you cannot move or emotional pain which we store away in our subconscious only to be confronted by it when we least want or expect it. Personally, I think emotional pain can be more crippling. Think about it, every emotional feeling or thought or painful sensation we experience as an individual is as a direct result of messages from our brains. Are we more in control than we think?

How many times have we heard “You don’t ever know what you have had until you have lost it?” Be mindful, this particular lesson is not always accurate; after all, we often learn what we choose to interpret.

Confusion is an important component of our emotional well-being – I was having an argument with my boss and his responses to me were quite nasty. I was hurt, I was angry and I felt betrayed, why was it necessary for him to be so rude? Alternatively, was I mixing up my confusion and anger with an emotional response? When I thought about it more, I took a deep breath and stated the best possible solution to his issue. Once I had done this, I felt better. I had taken the emotional element, which was my anger and confusion away from the issue and made a decisive response. I walked away with confidence. My boss came after me with thanks and appreciation.

Drama makes a relationship exciting and intriguing and therefore subject to confusion, add empathy, compassion or just downright pity and you have all the components of love.  Being aware that love is just a tumult of emotions is wise and any turmoil or conflict in any relationship that makes couples appear vulnerable or victimised may become a shared and stimulating experience that further binds you together.

So when you feel that the light begins to fade take the time to question your emotional state. After all our self-awareness requires that, we look at ourselves objectively.

Stephanie

Saturday 18 May 2019

Old is The New Young

Have you read all the proverbial crap that supposedly supports older individuals back into the workplace? Well platitudes and examples of pros and cons are not enough without genuine meaning if you write them. It simply is not true! Companies do not want older workers because society has been dumbed down to think that the oldies are addled, befuddled and bygones.


Older people can offer wisdom, skills, and an ability to listen and assimilate information well. Everyone undergoes training in a job, why have companies been brainwashed into assuming that oldies are too old to learn technology, and no, not everyone is ready to retire because the Government states they have to, or they can no longer get work because they are too old.  In addition, another unfathomable thing, they are usually not deaf or dumb. Why is it then that most of Gen X & Y automatically raise their supercilious voices and act as if they are speaking to a moron?

Older people are more likely to stick around longer, they are more likely to be happy with the position they have been offered – they are no longer in the business of cutting another’s throat or stabbing someone in the back to get to the top.

Even in old age, it turns out, our brains have more plasticity to adapt and learn. In short, it turns out that old dogs can learn new tricks. Older people respect and appreciate education more than perhaps the Gen X & Y – certainly, it is too soon to see how Gen Z will go.

Now if the above does not prompt you to re-think your stance on the golden oldies, and if money is your bag, then think of it this way if you brought back in older workers to your companies, then it could return $78 billion a year to the economy. Just saying!

It just takes one intelligent, proactive individual in a position of strength or power to make changes that will improve the life of a golden oldie, increased appreciation between the generations and in the process improve our economy.

Stephanie

Friday 3 May 2019

Essential Oils


Alternative medicine?

Essential oils are compounds extracted from plants. The oils capture the plant’s scent and flavour which is also called it’s “essence.”

Recently my daughter has become curious about essential oils but had been unsure about the quality or which was the right oil, how to start, how or why to use them; so she decided that now was the time to ask questions as she wanted to reduce toxic chemicals in her home and office. I can honestly say that she is an advocate for doing everything that she can to improve her health and to beat her cancer.

My beautiful daughter and her extensive research has me questioning the things that I use in the home. I want to eliminate the funk and bring in the fresh. Smell is one of our most powerful senses and it tells us a lot about where we are, what we should eat and how we want our homes to smell. If a smell is bad, we can feel uneasy and often smell is associated with our memory….step in essential oils and let me see what you got.

1. When has it ever been a bad thing to reduce chemical use in the garden, home with the kids or even in our daily skincare regime?

2. Imagine the benefits of metabolic boosts; better cellular health, relaxation and lowered stress levels, sleep assistance and joint support?

3. Imagine saving on domestic cleaning products and expensive deodorisers and air scents laden with chemicals?

Many good questions. These are the areas I am going to focus upon and yes I want all of the above and yes I have recently tried some of these things. Admittedly, I am having more fun in using the essential oils in my diffuser. There are loads of amazing oils and blends that are making my home smell wonderful and in the process, eliminating chemicals and becoming safer for my beautiful daughter.

Note: The way oils are made is extremely important; essential oils obtained through chemical processes are not considered true essential oils. Essential oils are concentrated plant extracts!

Having fun

Stephanie

Tuesday 23 April 2019

Inappropriate Things


A short but definitely fun blog for you today.

My bestie (Christina) than the restie bought me this fun little gift as I saw it online and laughed ridiculously loud for about ten minutes straight. So you need to know:
1. I love anything vampires.
2. This is so inappropriate that I love it by default.
3. It has nothing to do with anything, but anything that makes you laugh is good for you!

In fact, there is actually a whole host of inappropriate and funny gifts you can find on https://www.pictame.com/user/funnyafinappropriategifts/8487106753 and I wanted to share this with you because even though I've been browsing through the site, I had no idea it was owned by a friend in NZ! Go figure.

Anyway, so shout out to this company for defying logic, brandishing mugs with naughty words and making me laugh since 2018.

Happy Blogging - Kristy

Saturday 6 April 2019

The Why For Writers


The world we live in is complex, full of different and diverse people, rampant emotions and conflictions. Why would you write?

I think that writers of today need to be a bit of a tough nut in order to cope with the criticism so easily dispersed via the Internet and other social media outlets. Are writers so driven by their own inner dialogue to let out their story as to not to worry about the thoughts of others? Yes, I think so….toughened as I said. I believe the obsession is the story that rattles around upstairs; and the undertaking of putting words to paper, the compulsion.

I have watched Kristy immerse herself within her writing to the exclusion of absolutely everything around her. She once said to me that she visualizes her characters, where they are and what they are doing, this involves all her senses to create an environment where she has immersed herself or become involved. This interaction and involvement creates the very atmosphere of exclusion and in turn, this seems to compel her to write at an almost manic speed so that she can get everything down that she needs to.

The hardest part of writing is not about having a published book. It is about the story! They say that anyone with a story can write a book! I wonder. If you feel that you have something to say, do it, put pen to paper and create. Remember, it is the pull of the yarn, how the characters interact into the fabric of your narrative and what it is that has captured the reader’s attention that is important. If you can grab the reader’s attention, then you are half way there.

It has been my experience, that through writing, writers have the potential of building bonds with other like-minded individuals.

Happy writing.
Stephanie

Thursday 28 March 2019

Wonder Woman


Hi, I am Stephanie and I have been assisting Kristy with a number of things such as her website and the occasional blog on her behalf. 
I know it has been such a long time since we have put words to paper, that is life isn’t it….it moves at such a rapid rate we often forget to slow down. 
Although Kristy is heavily involved in her editing now, (new book on the way), she does take time out to do other things. Such as, An Ironman Triathlon, building her new home with hubbie, travelling the world and just in case you think she is slacking off, she is now a ‘wellness advocate.’ This is someone who advocates the benefits to the body by using essential oils - - oops, I almost forgot she has just harvested her first crop of dragon fruit. 
As a writer she loves quotes and this aptly applies to the moment “Note to self: I don’t have to take this day all at once but rather one step, one breath and one moment at a time. I am only one person. Things will get done when they get done.”……like the laundry!
Until the next time (which won't be long I promise)
Stephanie