Australia Day 2013

Well, today is the 26th of January, otherwise known as Australia Day in my country. 

To most Australians this means an opportunity to kick back in a pair of thongs (the shoe variety), fire up the barbecue and down a slab of beer. It also presents us with a public holiday on the first working day back after the weekend and an excuse to eat too much meat and bask in the sun.

I must be European.

At present I'm cowering inside my air conditioned home, ducking and weaving the incoming rays of sunshine determined to stream through my living room windows. My fridge is absent of alcohol because it makes me sweat like a baboon and my hubby is still whingeing that we don't own a barbecue. And, although we do have sausages on the menu tonight, they will be cooked in a casserole, not over an open flame. I won't be listening to Men at Work, ACDC, Jet, Cold Chisel or any other Aussie bands that may instill me with a deep sense of patriotism.

In fact, I'm probably going to kick back on the sofa, watch several episodes of Sons of Anarchy and eat ice-cream until my stomach explodes. 

Am I the only one who doesn't especially care about their country's earmarked day of celebration? Am I the only person who is merely grateful for the extra day off work? Am I about to have my house egged and my windows smashed by fat men in stubbies and dirty blue singlets?

Probably.

Well, cheers to those of you that eat Vegemite, go surfing, barbeque shrimp and scream Oi Oi Oi at the football - I hope you have a fabulous Australia Day. For those of you like me perhaps labelled lazy and decidedly un-Australian, feel free to message me with your planned activities for this long weekend. I'm curious to see how many of you skipped the day of backyard cricket in lieu of something cooler and non-athletic.

Have a good one,

Kristy :)

What Follow Friday?

Okay ... my bad. I usually do the Follow Friday meme hosted by Parajunkee and Alison Can Read every Friday, mostly because it's fun to see what everyone is reading, and then because it promotes the blog - a massive priority as an author.
This week I didn't do it. The day just got away from me, mostly because I was buried under a mountain of edits for my second book, The Damned. (awesome read BTW, you so don't want to miss buying this :P)
So why did I miss the weekly ritual that I have participated in for over thirty weeks?
Okay, pipe down to those of you that are saying 'who gives a crap?'. There has to be someone out there that thinks me blowing off 'Follow Friday' for a two hour session at the gym was more important so that I could finally pour myself into my slim fit jeans and then head out for a girls night?
*clasps a hand to my ear* Yes, I'm hearing the 'Amen, sister'.
So, needless to say I went to my girls night out. I looked great in my jeans, and we listened to music of yesteryear, and sang (badly) and laughed about it until late. Naturally I ducked home and crawled into bed while everyone else took it to the next level at the clubs but everyone knows I'm a virtual hobbit and boogying on the dance floor is not really my thing (I just embarrass myself and everyone else with my Saturday Night Fever moves)
Anyway, so being that music was the main topic of conversation for most of the evening, we started laughing like mad when we all realised there were about a million songs we 'thought' we knew the words to. But have you actually sung a song, have your buddy turn to you and say, 'Mate, that's not how the song goes'.
Answer ... we all have. So with this in mind, here are some of the little gems we came up with;

1. Cold Chisel - "Cheap Wine"
Our version - Cheap wine and a three-legged goat (Who the hell has ever seen a three-legged goat?)
Real version - Cheap wine and a three-day growth

2. Elton John - "Island Girl"
Our version - I like girls (I totally thought this was an affirmation)
Real version - Island girl (you think the title of the song might have spelled it out for me)

3. Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes - "Time of my Life"
Our Version - We saw the writing on the wall, I've never felt this mad before, it's a specialty.
Real version - We saw the writing on the wall, as we felt this magical, fantasy (go figure)

4. Madonna - "Ray of Light"
Our version - And I feel, like a disco gnome, and I feel. (Truth be told, we were laughing at someone else for this one)
Real version - And I feel, like I just got home, and I feel.

5. Snow - "Informer"
Our version - Informer, you know fhshgsgkhsfgkskskgsklfhdhdhdrs to blame, a licky boom boom down.
Real version - Informer, ya' no say dadda me Snow me I'll go blame, a licky boom boom down
(Yeah, Snow, no one has ever understood what the f@#%k you are saying)

Anyway, these are just a few. There were so many more it's crazy. My face still hurts from laughing so hard. My friend even told me that she'd had an ongoing argument with her brother for over ten years because he swears Charles and Eddie's "Would I lie to You" was "Ooh la la to you".
You gotta love a girls night out.
Have a great weekend everyone, let me know if there are some songs out there that throw a spanner in your lyrical genius. I'd love to hear if you're a disco gnome or that you like girls.

Kristy :)