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Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Ultra ... Ridiculous

It's true. I'm ultra ridiculous.
Since my last post, I have followed through with the ultimate way to torture my body, and it wasn't acupuncture.
I ran a marathon.
And an ultra marathon.
People already think your a paddock short of a few cows when you tell them that you're going to compete in a marathon; 42.2km of non-stop running complete with thoughts of 'my legs are about to fall off', and 'I really, really need a poo'.
But I did it. I stowed away negative thoughts as well as the extra piece of peanut butter on toast I hadn't planned on eating that morning and ran my little heart out.
With an impressive time for a newbie of 4 hours and 11 minutes, I felt slightly invincible and opted to sign up for an ultra marathon directly after I'd crossed the finish line. Pumped with adrenaline, I didn't really consider what running 64km through bush terrain might ultimately mean. But alas, as of this weekend past, I completed the last of my running challenges for the year and have a medal and four buggered toenails to show for it.
I am sore and I am attempting not to complain to every passing person with ears, but I'm also very proud of my accomplishments. I'm 33, I can pee all by myself, cross the road without holding mum's hand, and now I can run for no other reason at all other than I've been secretly training for the zombie apocalypse.
I have absolutely no idea what the rest of the month will hold, though I suspect there's going to be some mass peanut butter consumption and a few wild nights on the chocolate to balance out all this 'healthy' clean living I've been doing of late.
Peace out.
Keep running. The zombies ARE coming.

Kristy :)

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Cover Reveal - Diary of a Teenage Zombie

Well hello guys!
I must say I'm super excited to show you the cover for my brand new novel 'Diary of a Teenage Zombie'. This book is going to be a ripper - violence, sex and lots and lots of gory humour. I'm like a proud mama with this one, and thus, I've selected a cover to aptly represent poor old Katie Palmer and her Zombie-fied state.


Get it into you, get excited and get ready for an awesome literary adventure!



Synopsis:

Dear Diary. Today I ate the mailman. My bad.
Being seventeen is hard―Katie Palmer has to deal with school, pimples, hormonal boys, and malicious cheerleaders. After the Zombie Apocalypse, though, she no longer sweats the usual teenage drama.
Athletics star by day and flesh-eater by night, Katie’s done well to hide her transformation from friends and Zone-sanctioned security, but now someone or something’s onto her secret and if she doesn’t feed soon she’ll start falling apart.
Dead bodies are piling up and all the evidence points to Katie’s blood-stained hands. Will she end up killing the competition before security discovers she’s rotten underneath?


Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Everything is Pozible!


So some of you may have noticed that I have been crowd-funding for one of my up and coming releases 'Diary of a Teenage Zombie'. To say that I have been successful is an understatement and only because of the support and love from the multiple friends, family and book lovers out there.
Now thanks to the wonderful people listed below, I now have the opportunity to continue producing this novel and quite probably the next novel in The Hunted Series. I cannot thank you all enough for your contribution and will literally be shouting your names from on high for a very long time.

Robert Deskoski
Roy Smith - two generous pledges under the belt!
Maki Nakagoshi
Ebony Gardner
Emma Power - two very generous pledges to assist!
Glen Jackson
Anna Garratt
Sharn Swain - An absolute legend with one of the highest pledges aimed entirely at support!
Colleen Clarke
Cherie & John Fransen
Vicki Wenmoth
Stephanie & Peter Jackson - The most generous pledge of the entire pozible campaign.
Kathie Wright
Yuri Kurokawa
John Hundley
Seiara Berridge
Christina Davidson - two very generous pledges in support of a friend
Lauren Huston
Penny Miles
Chantelle Davidson
Kelly Mills
Cherie Curtis
Jany Thao
Dr Gavin Le Sueur
Donna Rondeau
Estelle Le Sueur - With an extraordinary pledge that knocked my socks off!
Narelle Mills
Dr Grant Golombick - an extremely generous pledge from a great friend
Shoko Iwabuchi
Alysha Wincen
Hope Lawrance
Soraya Mills
Amanpreet Suaan
Dr Sami Moid
Kev Webb
Wynys Davidson
Dr Donna Usher - A generous pledger with a big heart determined to see me succeed!
Kathryn Francis
Peter Jackson
Alissa Jaye
Liz Daniel
Kylie & Dan Thompson
Damien Gray
Ann-Marie Boland
Marinda Bronkhorst
Paul Berridge - a super generous pledge, thank you!

(Anonymous) - There were five anonymous donations all together. I respect your right to privacy and won't drop names, but I know who you are, and thank you for your support!

I'd also like to give a special mention to Navaro Berridge who offered more love and support than anyone can ever hope to ask for. Thanks a million. I couldn't have done this without you.

Thank you again guys!

Kristy :)

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Diary of a Teenage Zombie: Excerpt "Chapter Two"

Hello my wonderful blogger friends and pledges! Since the pledging is coming along swimmingly (I'm at 35% which you can see on the left side of the page), I thought I'd reward you all with a short excerpt from the novel. Bear in mind my editor is still looking this all over so there may be a few minor changes here and there, but it's still just a little slice into the life of Katie Palmer, zombie extraordinaire.
Your continued support is greatly appreciated, I have less than two months to go, and honestly, if everyone that reads this post donates even just $5 - $10 I am in with a chance, plus anyone who donates $10 or more gets a copy of the book anyway, so pledging = good karma and prizes!
Thank you again!! 



Dear Diary,
I found a tiny padlock on Jack’s bedroom door last night. I suspect Mum and Dad are a little worried about my flesh eating tendencies bad temper. They must have found the Nelson’s cat in our backyard.
But my complexion looks awesome today and that’s a good thing, because Connor called me yesterday and organised a date training session for this morning. I couldn’t exactly think of a reason not to, considering my armpits smelled okay and Mum double-washed my jogging gear in preparation.
Bless her.
I’m also going to meet up with Nikki after classes this morning to organise the classroom lock-in, the first stop on our social calendar for the year. Right now I think it’s a great idea, but I’m well fed in a good mood. Who knows how I’ll feel at the end of the week when my skin starts peeling away from my face?

Katie xo

Connor was already waiting for me on the back oval by the time Mum dropped me off at school. Being awake at such an ungodly hour meant I was still yawning, scratching at my belly and rubbing pockets of dried sleep from the corners of my eyes.
I know I paint a pretty picture. I’d have rather worn a low-cut top and slapped on some make-up, but it was only just after six and running a few miles would make me sweat like a pig. Practicality was key.
‘Palmer,’ Connor greeted me, a broad smile plastered across his face. ‘I’m not keeping you up, am I?’
‘I usually train in the afternoon,’ I complained, covering my mouth as another yawn threatened to escape. Suddenly my tired brain remembered that this was the hottest guy in school and that he’d woken up early especially to go running with me. I quickly changed my attitude.
Happy dance.
‘Boo-hoo,’ he teased, blonde hair flopping in front of his eyes. Connor smoothed his fringe back from his forehead and continued to reach up with the one motion, stretching his arms high above his head.
‘Let’s just hope you can keep up.’
Small wonder that I found words at all given my current distraction. A quick glimpse at Connor’s toned abdominals and exposed Calvin Klein briefs had my imagination overflowing with unladylike, erotic thoughts.
‘Is that a challenge, Palmer?’
‘Take it how you want,’ I said, shaking my head in an effort to break the spell his underwear apparently had over me. Languid scenes of our sweaty flesh pressed together stirred my desire, threatening to weaken me at the knees.
Connor’s knowing grin suggested he was more than aware of my eyes on him, plotting the possibilities.
Fuck.
Embarrassed by my open gaze, I sniffed and rolled my shoulders, reaching back to grip an ankle and stretch out my quadriceps, then hamstrings and calves. I didn’t need the preparation but I wanted to look anywhere but at Connor, certain there was a flashing neon sign above my head screaming ‘desperate’.
‘You ready?’ Connor asked, patting me on the back.
Was it wrong to savour that casual touch, deciding to embellish upon it in my fantasies later on? As far as I was concerned, that innocent gesture would be re-counted as brazen fingers grazing my spine, warm palms flattening against me, and sliding down my back until they cupped my ass. Connor would tell me he could crack walnuts on it.
Yes. That would be how inaccurately I’d remember this moment.
I took a deep breath, inconspicuously sniffed my armpits and then nodded. Connor had already bolted from the starting plate with a hiss and a roar, setting an unsustainable pace in his eagerness to impress. An oxygen tank loomed in his foreseeable future, as several laps at this speed would lead to him to undoubtedly coughing up a lung.
After circling the track a few dozen times and nabbing the five kilometre unspoken goal, I slowly realised that Connor was not built for endurance. Keeping pace with his frenetic stride was almost too easy, yet he struggled on and tried to match my predatory gait. Sweat trickled down Connor’s face and saturated his shirt. He was puffing like a geriatric chasing a big-breasted blonde; his face was rose-tinted and his blue eyes were bulging.
‘Palmer!’ he gasped. ‘What kind of stride do you call that?’
‘The one you set?’ I felt a little bad. I was breathing easy and had just lapped him for the second time in five minutes. Nikki had made it clear that in order to win Connor’s affections I had to embrace my athleticism but also not show him up. Something about damaging his ego, which she’d likened to kicking him in the balls.
‘You’re not jogging, you’re running!’ Connor panted. He was tripping over his own feet, his arms windmilling to keep himself upright.
I slowed, my inner predator rolling her eyes as I fought to contain a hysterical outburst. ‘I’m sorry. Do you need a rest?’
Connor was well behind me now. He had regained his balance but was swaying, perhaps on the verge of passing out. Bent in half and with hands propped against his knees, he attempted to draw in great gasps of air but instead started to cough like he’d just contracted emphysema.
I doubled back, concerned by the sudden pale sheen of his skin. ‘Are you okay?’ I asked, tentatively smoothing my hand across his back. The muscles bunched and tightened under my palm, but Connor was inconsolable, shoving me out of the way. Seconds later he was emptying the contents of his stomach onto the field.
‘Wow,’ I yelped, jumping free of the partially-digested debris, ‘I guess we know who’s going to win this upcoming marathon, huh?’
The contemptuous glare Connor shot me while wiping his mouth suggested I was not doing my best to lure him in with my feminine wiles.
Fuck.



Saturday, 6 April 2013

Diary of a Teenage Zombie - Synopsis

Hi Guys,

So you all know by now that I'm trying to crowd fund for this latest novel I've penned - Diary of a Teenage Zombie. I've gotta say, I'm really proud of this one, I even crack myself up. I've managed to jam action, gore, romance and witty banter into a 60,000 word novel that I can honestly say will put a smile on your dial.
The release is set for August this year, and there will be no delays because I'm producing the venture myself, albeit hopefully with the help of my lovely fans, family and friends who are currently pledging a couple of bucks here and there to try and make this happen (Click POZIBLE widget on the left side of the page, and donate for good karma)
Anyway, I've decided to leak little snippets of information along the way to light your excitement fires since I'm still a long way off my goal of raising $8000. Today I have the completed synopsis. Next week? Maybe an excerpt, so stay tuned because this novel is happening!



Dear Diary. Today I ate the mailman. My bad.
Being seventeen is hard―Katie Palmer has to deal with school, pimples, hormonal boys, and malicious cheerleaders. After the Zombie Apocalypse, though, she no longer sweats the usual teenage drama.
Athletics star by day and flesh-eater by night, Katie’s done well to hide her transformation from friends and Zone-sanctioned security, but now someone or something’s onto her secret and if she doesn’t feed soon she’ll start falling apart.
Dead bodies are piling up and all the evidence points to Katie’s blood-stained hands. Will she end up killing the competition before security discovers she’s rotten underneath?


Again, thank you all for taking the time to check out my Pozible crowd funding venture - a great way to support poor authors like me and promote opportunity for the arts.
Have a great weekend,

Kristy :)

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Crowd Funding - Diary of a teenage Zombie

Hey guys,

So I gotta tell you, this isn't an ordinary post. This is a post where you'll receive visuals and an incentive to help out an almost bum author. Right now, you should see me, on my hands and knees, grovelling for a small bit of your time and hopefully all of your money! Kidding, but some would be great.
You see, I'm trying the crowd-funding avenue, hoping that the fans and readers of my books will help fund the next release novel - Diary of a Teenage Zombie.
Naturally, you are guaranteed lots of special gifts even for the smallest of donation which is only $10, and plenty of good Karma. I'd love it if you checked out my pledge below, and headed over to the Pozible site to support my venture. At least this way I can keep the books coming thick and fast. And, if you can't help out, please tell someone who might.
Cheers guys, I really appreciate the support!

Kristy


This is the link to the pozible site for more information and to pledge: pozible.com/teenagezombie


Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Review: Zombie Cities by Sorab Del Rio


Okay, so I don't read comic books. Hell, I've probably only ever gazed through a few in the course of my life. Even as a little kid I wasn't overly enthused, but, I was at the Brisbane Supanova in November last year, and met this truly passionate comic book writer and his click of talented illustrators.
The comic book, or graphic novel, as I've been reminded is the "PC" term these days, is known as "Zombie Cities".
So why did I nab myself a copy of this graphic novel? Well, for one, at the time I was writing my own zombie based novel, and was intrigued what would compel someone else to ponder this genre, and then I realised, zombies are f@#%king awesome.

Zombie Cities is no ordinary graphic novel plowing through a lengthy plot or commenting on the idle musings of an orange cat in the local paper. Zombie Cities is a hilarious take on the world's decline, political agenda, and the overwhelming truth that XBox games really will help you kick a zombie's ass.
From Barrack Obama, to the Queen of England, we see the funny, morally bankrupt, and grossly graphically portrayed decline of humanity. Gun control laws are out the window, and the endorsement of eyeballs as a delicacy on the streets of Japan make you want to throw a Nespresso machine at George Clooney, telling him to stick to the black stuff. With wonderfully illustrated and aptly captioned scenes, I can honestly say that Sorab has converted me - at least to his measure of the zombie apocalypse!

Kristy :)

Saturday, 23 March 2013

Me and my Bike

Well, it's been a crazy week, mostly because I made the decision about a month ago to stop using my car and buy a bike. No this was not a grandiose gesture to save the environment, although, if it makes you think more highly of me, then let's just say that was my motivation.
Anyway ...
The truth is, I'm a broke-ass author, and I've been walking the forty-five minute trek to and from work, and figured there had to be a quicker way. At this point, I may just mention that public transport, ie; the bus, scares the crap out of me, so don't even suggest it in the comment field ...
Right, so I have a bike now, and thus have been pedaling morning and night. I kept telling myself it would be easy, but it turns out I was dreaming.
The lovely, slightly downhill, early-morning ride to work is delightful. The wind in my face, IPod blaring in my ears - that's where it ends. So far, riding home has proved treacherous to say the least. It has rained, soaking me to the bone and rewarding me with soggy underpants. I've attempted to use a poncho, which when combined with South-Easterly winds, turns me into a freaking kite. I have to fight with the traffic, and sometimes endure the darkness. And since I am dead certain that the zombie apocalypse is coming, this just seems dangerous. I won't see those buggers lunging for my legs.
On the upside, lecherous guys with derogatory comments shouted from the open car windows have surprisingly made my week. Team that with the killer thigh muscles I'm developing, and I suppose I can suck up a bit of rain and the possibility I may take flight and end up in Fiji.
Have a good one,

Kristy :)

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Book Review: Club Dead - Zombie Isle by Dane Hatchell

This could just be one of the shortest stories I've ever read - possibly the grossest. 
Club Dead: Zombie Isle, delves very quickly into a rapid fire plot with no particular protagonist, merely a narrative perspective of vacationers quickly regretting the decision to head to the tropics. Character names are irrelevant as they all soon fall victim to a mysterious illness that quickly sweeps across the island and claims the humanity of everyone present.
In all traditional sense this story is zombified. Flesh is eaten in abundance, people turn rapidly and others are killed for their internals as they are far too good to resist. The typical snowball effect of this horrific disease quickly exemplifys the downfall of those who are still alive. The action is limited to tearing flesh, oozing gore and streaming blood. We don't really see retaliation as the story flows quickly to conclusion, the night's horror chased by the eventuality of certain death.
Overall I enjoyed the short read and the explicit details, but I was never drawn, repulsed or awed by any one moment as there was never pause to develop emotional connections with the characters. As a short story this is to be expected, and if judging on face value, eloquence of writing style or pointed plot then I will rate Club Dead: Zombie Isle two fangs out of five.

Synopsis:
A ridiculous undead romp on the beach. Three couples arrive at a Caribbean resort when a plague turns its residents into human flesh eaters. The story is told from multiple points of view. It's the perfect companion to an adult beverage while working on a tan.

Saturday, 22 December 2012



Hi All!
I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! To all my followers you have been a massive support and to those of you that read my posts regularly, leave comments and amazingly don't die of shock from my sometimes ferociously inappropriate subject matter, I wish you all the very best!
It has been an amazing year with a few more of my books due to be released early 2013, so I'm shutting down until after New Year so I can get all of this finished for the eager Hunted fans. Oh, and there will be zombies on the horizon in the New Year ... lots and lots of zombies.
Anyway, you should probably get your hands on a copy of 'The Hunted' for Christmas either for yourself or for a friend or both. I've been told by one of Santa's big-mouth elves that if you don't have a copy under the tree or sitting on your bookshelf then you will be added to the 'naughty list'.
This is fact. *Maniacal laughter*
So now that you're all on the 'nice' list, I'm going to head off, enjoy my Christmas and bid that you all do the same - be safe, be happy, be merry, and of course do what I'm going to do and eat ridiculous amounts of food despite that I know there will be a week long crying sesh followed by massive regret when the scales whisper to me 'one at a time please'.
Have a good one everyone!

Kristy :)

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Melbourne Supanova 2012

Well, I've come to the end of yet another Supanova convention, otherwise known as a comic book and pop culture expo for those of you unfamiliar with the terminology. Last year I attended one in Brisbane with a massive turn out of well over sixty thousand people. I don't think Melbourne quite caught the numbers, but there certainly wasn't a lack of enthusiasm from the patrons.
This year I was an exhibitor, and though there were a lot of people rocking out their Anime costumes, Hogwarts robes, and Star Wars light sabers, there apparently weren't a lot of people who read books. Granted, I was trying to sell a 582 page novel at a comic book convention, but jeez, if I had a dollar for every person who asked me if there were pictures in The Hunted, I would have made a fortune. What happened to the younger generation? Where are all the readers?
So, despite the minor misjudgment of reading preferences, I just wanted to say a big thank you to Melbourne for having me. I love your food and public transportation system. I love the swag of people that did purchase my book and those of you that already have it, read it, and love it! But I did hate my hotel with it's alleged gymnasium (outright lie) and five minute walk to Melbourne showgrounds (let's try twenty).
Let's see if we attack this avenue of promotion later in the year ...

Kristy :)

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Weirdo Neighbours

This could just be one of those occasions where I am eternally grateful for being a hobbit. I leave my house to go to and from work, but once I'm behind closed doors, I tend to stay there. This of course means I have no freaking idea who my neighbours are.
Sure, I'm well aware there's a drunken twenty something on one side of the fence. He makes noise on Friday nights, plays Ping Pong until the wee hours of the morning, and can't seem to aim for shit when kicking balls in his own yard.
On the other side I have a young family with two dogs. I know they have two dogs because they never stop barking and they're basically walking manure factories. Their kid cries non-stop, and they think we can't smell the 'garden' parties they sometimes 'roll' into on a Saturday night.

Across the road I have the Brady Bunch, otherwise known as the Biggest loser contestants - family edition. We have grandma and grandpa, mum and dad, son and wife, the other teenage kid and the two dogs. They worry me the most if the Zombie Apocalypse ever occurs. That is one hungry family and I don't have a front fence big enough to keep them out.
Alas that just leaves the mysterious neighbours on the diagonal. I have lived in this house for over five years and it was only yesterday that I was eating breakfast, minding my own business, that I decided to peep out the window and have a look around. Let it be said now that I knew they had a truck, that I knew it often came and went, but I never bothered to figure out why.
So there I was, eating my low fat cereal and congratulating myself on not cracking open the peanut butter jar again, when I heard the truck doors swinging open and crashing loudly against the metalwork. Curious, I slipped my fingers between the Venetian blinds on my window and had a quick peek. Interestingly enough, the truck was backed right up in the driveway and was now surrounded by wads of black plastic. At first I thought nothing of it, but then there was the thud.
Two men, one of them I think was my neighbour, helped lift an over-sized package into the back of the truck. Said package looked heavy and suspiciously like a body.
So what did I do?
Naturally I laughed and then tweeted about it - the sensible thing to do.
Thus I am happy to reveal that although the nature of my weird neighbour's business does appear shady and somewhat underhanded on account of the rather large unmarked truck, his lack of general day-to-day friendly wave at the letter box, and his seemingly absent wife, he is not a serial killer. Black wrapped plastic and body-shaped packages could mean anything ... anything.
I'm told it's roofing insulation.
Anyway, what has this little experience of the neighbourhood taught me? Simple. Deadbolts are a necessity. Erecting a 6ft fence with barbed wire is not overkill if fat zombies want to eat your ass. And yelling out to my drunken neighbour 'you've lost your balls again' is not exactly productive.
Cheers to the freaking hobbits, I say. STAY INDOORS!

Kristy :)