google-site-verification: google935433b691795853.html KRISTY BERRIDGE: 2016-10-16

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Manufacturer instructions.

You know what I’m talking about, those little balled up pieces of paper outlining the step-by-step instructions on how to assemble whatever godforsaken piece of flat-pack equipment you’ve purchased. This is not limited to wooden shelves with missing screws or Swedish cabinets sent to test your patience; this also includes: clothes, food items and household goods. 

I’ve been thinking about this often lately, given numerous amounts of people killed in fiery crashes believing their ‘Cruise Control’ button would ‘auto-pilot’ their vehicles. Most of us don’t own a Mercedes Benz so this is technology not yet possible for people like me on a minimum wage; plus, we’re definitely not on Star Trek. It does go to show, though, how stupid we can all be even when given these life-saving instructions. Even from birth we’re trying to contradict safety precautions by licking the ends of batteries and shoving knives in the toaster. We still ignore the manufacturer instructions as adults and always seem to finish projects with ‘extra’ pieces or some sort of grievous, bodily wound. 

Now I’m no expert, but it occurred to me that one of two things need to change. One: as adults we need to take the time to read these little seemingly waste-of-time pieces of paper to ensure safety and correct assembly. Two: stop being moronic and realise cars cannot yet fly, electricity will kill you when combined with water and the shower door is dangerous to male erections and nipples on exit.
If we could take five minutes to digest logic and simply apply it to the multiple situations that could presume death or dismemberment, the world would be a much better place filled with a lot less stupid individuals.

Do you not agree?

(During the making of this blog I will neither confirm nor deny that the shower door incident has happened to either The Cockney or myself)

Kristy J